Sunday, November 11, 2012

In the ring with Re-entry

I actually feel some days as if I have entered a boxing ring with re-entry. Untrained & without gloves. I had no idea what to expect. Being on the mission field was cake compared to this! Okay, so maybe that's an exageration, but re-entry has been no picnic to far. Returning to the US has been a holistic punch in the gut...

ü  Physically feeling sick from drastic change in eating habits and obvious lack of mangos
Okay so small joke about the mangos, but the change in eating, sleeping, climate, and physical routine does leave one feeling, well, gross.
ü  Emotionally train wrecked. Leaving my loved ones in Catel, Guinea-Bissau ripped my heart out. Perhaps because they weren’t the family I was born into or friendships I made with classmates or co-workers, but relationships created between people so different (in ethnicity, clothing, language, food, culture, you name it) that only God could have drawn our hearts so close.
ü  Spiritually- our God is faithful. And praise Him that his promises never rest on anything we say or do. However, I confess that being home has also taken a toll on me spiritually. I  certainly experienced some culture shock from African culture back into American, but also experienced culture shock going  from living within this little bubble of Christians (like the 12+ other  missionaries who lived in our house) whose sole purpose and goal is to seek Gods will and show his love, back into mainstream US culture. It was devastating. On top of that, I never felt more who I was created to be in Christ, then when I was there in Catel. Therefore, I think that my spirit is reinforcing my heart’s yearning to return. The difference is my spirits say “return but have patience Terianne, let the Lord prepare you, He has it under control,” whereas my heart says “what are you waiting for!”
Is hasn’t exactly been pretty neatly tied up in a bow kind of re-entry experience, if such a thing exists. But our Father is faithful. He has good plans for us (Philippians 1:6) and He knows the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4). Of these things I am certain. I can't make a lot of sense of my whirling thoughts or storms of emotions at the moment, but I will cling to the promises my heavenly father has given, and he will carry me. I know that re-entry, like all difficult things is an opportunity for God to be my strength and to grow me. I will do my best to welcome that and keep you updated on the journey.

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